People have NO sense of time.

You: o pai
Stranger: HI!
You: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH
You: Fuck.
Stranger: hmm?
You: Took you a while.
Stranger: wait did it say stranger is typing for like 2 mins?
You: Were you makin' eggs or somethin?
You: I have no idea
You: I was in another window
Stranger: no cause that happens to me
You: Well what happened?
You: Did some kind of random animal mug you?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: my puppy
You: That's a bitch
You: Sorry.
You: Did it attack you with cute?
You: Jebus
You: You're takin' too long, I've got a very important date.
You have disconnected.
(I referenced Alice in Wonderland, just lettin' you know)